Big Bureau Burnout - Part 2
by Animal Jim Feurer
When Part 1 ended I was on route 89 just east of Bureau following the irate, red neck Bureau, IL. constable in his 57 Ford squad car back to town. My friend Bobby, still sobering, was at my side in my new 427 63 Mercury riding shot gun.
In back of the 57 Ford squad car was our friend Roger, in hand cuffs. Roger had been arrested for doing a huge smoky burnout with my 427 Merc downtown Bureau. Only about 15 minutes ago, right in front of City Hall, which also housed the Bureau County Sherriff Office. It was only about 7.45 AM when he did it.
Roger was charged with a myriad of offences, including a DWI, disorderly conduct, reckless driving, unnecessary noise, damaging city property, and more. (The city was really tense about the block long black tire marks on their new paved main street)
Letting Roger drive my new Mercury was definitely a huge mistake, but we were all 3 in bad shape from Friday nights drinking. Roger seemed the best choice at the time.
His dad will really be mad. He hates my hot cars. And me!
Black Merc sales contract
As we entered Bureau, following the squad car at a safe distance and were coming down the hill to the center of that little town. I could see a crowd of town's people gathered on the street in front of City Hall waving their arms. They were being addressed by a man who I later learned was the mayor. At his side was what appeared to be a deputy.
Immediately the scene in the 1931 Frankenstein movie, when they bring the creature back to town, came into my mind. All the crowd needed were rakes, hoes and torches waving around. As we got closer, I recognized, along with the town folk, most of the tavern people we encountered earlier, were on hand.
You would have thought they had Dillinger. When I saw all those town folk and the mayor addressing them, I regress. All I could think of is that 1931 Frankenstein movie scene, when the murdering creature is brought back to town.
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As we came closer to the City Hall/Jail building, sporting huge black burnout tracks in front and down the street, the irate constable had our friend Roger out of his 57 Ford Squad car and was shoving him up the stairs to the entrance to the multi purpose City Hall building. The crowd was gathered and yelling like a hateful lynch mob. "You young punk! Tearing up our streets! Who do you think you are? Bureau County will show YOU, WE WILL NOT STAND FOR IT!!!"!!!"
When I got even with City Hall , there was no where to park. Then I noticed the little Gulf Gas station across the street from City Hall, was now open. Good thing. My gas gauge was on E! I turned a left "U" and pulled in by the outside pump with my driver side facing City Hall's front door.
A young teenage man ,16 or 17, wearing a Gulf work shirt, who worked at the Gulf Station, was already outside watching the show across the street. My door window was already down. It was going to be a hot day--in more ways than one. The young Gulf attendant came over to my driver door window, and I said, "Fill er' up with No Nox and check my oil." " Yes sir." the young Gulf attendant replied.
Before shutting my engine off--not thinking--I forgot, the cap on one of my exhaust cut out laker pipes was missing and my loud exhaust was wide open. (The 3 inch threaded water pipe cap on my short laker cutouts, had come loose and blew off during Roger's infamous burnout earlier.) Habitually, I revved my engine a couple times to clean out any residual fuel from my two 652 cfm Holley four barrel carbs.
Before you could say decelerate, that mean hick constable, had his head poked into my driver door window , his ruddy face almost touching my left cheek.
He screamed in my ear, with his stale tobacco halitosis , "PUNK! YOU WANT TO JOIN YOUR BUDDY IN THERE, JUST KEEP UP YOUR BULL SHIT!"
"I was just cleaning out my engine like I always do." I meekly replied.
The unreasonable, out of control constable screamed back, "WHAT EVER IT IS YOU DID! DON"T EVER DO IT AGAIN IN BUREAU COUNTY!!"
I quickly shut my engine off. Bobby on the right side of me, starting to sober up enough to fathom the situation , mumbles some sarcastic remark. Unfortunately the jackass, over the top, constable hears it. He pokes his head back in my window, past my face and screams to Bobby. "THAT GOES FOR YOU TOO! YOU LITTLE PIECE OF CRAP!"
The constable does finally calm down a bit. Roger is inside the building. I ask the Constable what will happen to Roger. If there will be a fine. Still surly, he says," I will go find out." So off the psycho constable goes to the City Hall building.
Continued on next page...
